A Quick Podcast Backstory // meet Host Carmelita Tiu

[00:00:00] Hello everyone and welcome to the first official episode of the Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them podcast. It's a show about raising girls, specifically teens and tweens to help mindful, progressive, busy moms, stay informed and inspired so we can show up for ourselves and our daughters the way we want to. My name is Carmelita Tiu, also known as Cat or Millie.

[00:00:27] And I thought I'd do today's episode a little differently, kind of more casual, just talking a little bit about who I am and why I started this podcast and what it’s all about. It's really ticking through the five W's of information gathering for any of you journalists and folks out there and I hope to do it in logical, somewhat rapid fashion.

[00:00:48] So I'll start with who, if you read my podcast description or heard the trailer, you probably recall that I have two daughters. They are nine and eleven. Their personalities are pretty different. And one moment they're bickering viciously, the next they are besties. It's hard to keep track. I was a single mom for a stretch, the girls’ biological dad and I split when they were two and four.

[00:01:14] So that was a rough time, but it's now been several years, their father and I have both moved on to different relationships. I got remarried in 2019 and he is engaged. So I've moved from single parenting to co-parenting and the girls now have four parental figures in their life. Which can be challenging at times, but ultimately I think has worked out with more pros than cons, more upsides than down.

[00:01:43] And I'm grateful for that. I think I'll move on to the why of the podcast now. I really had two concepts in my head that I wanted to touch on when I think about my motivation for wanting to do this podcast and trying to tap into the relationships between mothers and daughters and my fascination with that.

[00:02:06] So the first story I want to tell, it relates to the impact that kids have on parents. I think we're all aware of the logistical impact that kids have when they're babies there's sleep deprivation. And then of course, there's the financial burdens that get added to the plate. Also less time for yourself, suddenly having way more decisions to make.

[00:02:27] But the moment that it really struck a deeper note for me was when I was a single mom, their dad and I had just recently split and I was in this tough quandary. I'm not going to go into the details, but suffice it to say it was a really difficult, difficult decision that I had to make. And I kept trying to figure out what's the right thing to do, asking friends, praying, asking the universe for a sign.

[00:02:55] And I kept asking myself, like, what are the pros and the cons, what should I do in this situation? And it wasn't until I asked myself, what would I want my daughters to do if they were in this situation that I had instantaneous clarity. Ever since then, I'm keenly aware of my impact on them and their impact on me.

[00:03:19] They make me see the world in a different way and they make me want to show up in a different way, because it's no longer just me that I'm worried about. It's also the impact that I'm having on them. That is just underscored that one moment seven plus years ago really nailed that home for me. The other thing I wanted to mention is that they are getting exposed to so much.

[00:03:42] They always have been but I think the things that they're asking questions about now are things I'm not always prepared to answer, whether it was the question about what's a pansexual? Or how come boys don't have to wear skirts? But girls are expected to? And why can boys wear skirts, et cetera, et cetera.

[00:03:59] And I know that my reaction to these questions, that in and of itself can have an impact on whether or not they feel open to talking to me. Whether or not their opinions will be shared or all of these things I'm just hyper aware of. And I want to be the kind of parent that tries. Yeah, I want to be the kind of parent that tries to stay in front of all the issues that our daughters face.

[00:04:24] Even though I know we have so many other things going on because ultimately we are women who want to raise authentic, brave, resilient, and kind daughters. And I realized too, that so much of raising a healthy daughter means we have to be healthy. I have to be the person that I want them to grow up to be. That means knowing my issues, checking myself, and modeling all these positive traits that I want them to have, whether it's, risk-taking, being confident in how they look regardless of their dress size or standing up for themselves or others in the face of injustice.

[00:05:04] Which I think leads me to the, when, where and what? So the what of course is the podcast. In terms of when and where, new episodes will drop on Tuesdays, you can find the podcast onApple, Spotify, Google Podcasts, any podcasting platform that you prefer, you should be able to find it by searching, Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them.

[00:05:28] Most episodes will be 20 minutes or less because I am a fan of the short format, which allows me to finish and complete something. This was my way of putting something out there that speaks to other people like me that love to know that they can finish something in a shorter amount of time. If you're on Instagram follow @knowberaisethem.

[00:05:48] I'll be posting quotes from wise women, reminders, and advice. Occasionally doing Instagram lives and I'll populate the feed with upcoming episode information. You can also check out my website, knowberaisethem.com. And if you know of anybody that might be interested in listening to this kind of content, please share, and encourage them to subscribe.

[00:06:13] I'm so looking forward to taking this on, and I hope you'll join me on this journey and here's to strong women. May we know them, may we be them, and may we raise them.